I was just recently talking about a so called “relationship problem” with a young female.
She’s thirty five years old and though she reveals that she seriously needed being married with kids by now, it hasn’t taken place.
This relationship goal of hers has been her target for just a dozen years, and every year which “happily ever after” life has eluded her she has developed more unhappier with the life of her.
She complains that all of the single males that she meets come out to be “losers”.
(Another unhappy relationship design of hers is definitely angry rage pattern of verbal assault that she explodes into when her expectations are not welcomed in a relationship.)
I tried explaining to her that the more she waits for her life to improve her emotional state, the design of her of unhappiness grows more and deeper engrained. This means that she will feel increasingly trapped in unhappiness under all the types of conditions.
She insisted that her unhappiness is an outcome of her not being in a loving relationship and she continued to blame the anger of her and melancholy on the males who have let the down of her.
This specific standpoint of hers represents what we can call UNCONDITIONAL unhappiness.
I told her, “While you think that your despondency would instantly raise if you could merely get a happy marriage, you’d discover very fast that the sorrow of yours and anger returns even if you did encounter male of the goals of yours. Why? Because HOW TO GET BACK YORU EXLOVERS is habitual.”
Provided that we create our unhappiness somebody else’s responsibility, or blame it on our life conditions, we enhance an unhappy attitude which looks more and more inescapable.
Another factor at play here involves the so called “losers” she’s attracting.
Provided we be in a negative emotional state, we truly can’t attract or even find positive, psychologically healthy individuals to connect with.
We repel sentimentally healthy individuals on a conscious or subconscious level, since our attitude problem “radiates” and others “pick up on” the bad psychological imbalance we live in.
Do YOU have problems with UNCONDITIONAL unhappiness?
The way out begins as you’re taking responsibility for the emotional reactions of yours and attitudes toward life and toward people, rather than regarding your circumstances or another person as accountable for the way you think.
The next step is examining your perceptions and emotional states until you realize how the negativity of yours, not the circumstances of yours, is really all that is short in the way in which between you and happiness.
The third detail is to patiently and persistently work on becoming much more aware of the feelings of yours and the attitudes of yours, therefore you are able to practice being a bit LESS angry and unhappy and free yourself from the habit of unhappiness, little by little, on a daily basis.
As an outcome, you are going to find the life of yours to be considerably more appealing only the way that it is, you will draw in “better” men and women into your lifestyle, and also you will be a little more emotionally stable and resilient if you do discover a genuine “winner” of a mate for a much healthier, happier marriage.